



(unless they commit a crime and then we want them to act like adults and be treated like adults)
Adults make mistakes, bad decisions that effect their life and the lives of others, but it is teens that we say "oh they don't know what they are doing, they don't understand the consequences".
They have a right to self-determination and the right to fuck up their lives just like adults.
This question came as a result of this story of the 13 year old who wants to forgo chemo for his cancer even though there is a good chance he will be cured.
I think that this 13 yr old has thought long and hard about his treatment and has decided what HE wants, how he wants to live and if it comes to that, how he wants to die. Maybe 13 is too young, I don't know since I do not know this specific kid, but he seems to know what he wants.
Personally I think the "bad decisions" teens make are more an aspect of a lack of information, low expectations and stalker parenting (parents who hover and have made all a kids decisions and never given children any freedom within their lives).
Our society and the way we parent have basically created the circumstances that lends itself to this child/adult that cannot be trusted to make responsible decisions. Teens used to expected to live like adults, make adult decisions and guess what...they did. I understand that some research says that teens brains have not fully developed and unable to see the ramifications of their decisions, but that does not mean that all teens are unable to make life changing decisions.
If my teen had cancer we would look at all the information, talked to Drs. and give him our advice and opinions, but in the end we would RESPECT his RIGHT to refuse chemo if he wanted to and look to alternative cures.
Of course if he did not want to make a decision we would, as his parents, make that decision for him. I would respect his decision the same way I respected my husband's decision to opt for radiation for his cancer instead of surgery or how I would have accepted his decision if he decided not to do anything or if it returns and he says "no more treatments".
I wrote this comment on Daily Kos and of course was then told I was a bad parent and that they need us to make these decisions for them and that my respect of my son was disturbing.
(and seriously, The Boy does some stupid shit, just ask me about him and the Jelly Belly candy dish, he is not perfect, but he has demonstrated a disturbing habit of making choices that are scary in their commonsense and more adult then a lot of adults I know. )
So I responded "then prepare to be disturbed" and went on to let them know that I would respect my son's wishes. I wish I had added that not only did I not insist on helmets, I also let him play in the front yard ALONE (gasp), allowed him to take walks in the woods ALONE (gasp), don't worry about porn on the web (i assume he looks at it), or violent video games (i know he plays those and seems pretty non-violent), we let him drink some wine if he wants in our home, and would not freak out over weed. Not only that, if we lived in a city with a subway and he had wanted to ride alone, at 9years, after much planning I WOULD LET HIM* and if he had a brother and they were fighting in the back of the car I would PUT THEM OUT ON THE STREET** to teach them a lesson.
Like I said, color me a bad parent.
*of course that means you make a number of runs with the kid and educate them. Wow, trusting our kids to not be idiots. Knowledge really is power.
**of course this would be done close to home (maybe a mile or less) on a street with sidewalks and businesses, not out in the middle of nowhere. I would probably just go around the block and then stalk them to see how they handled it. If your children have half a brain and you live in town, they know how to walk home.
EDIT:
I have also been called a coward (on Daily Kos) and told to "grow a pair" and got this awesome strawman argument "And I'm assuming you would be supportive if the little shit decided to be a heroin addict, too ???".
nice.




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Just a couple of comments.
Thank you! Finally Bernard, Rose AND Vincent (bonus!) happy and free of the madness.
Well hello Jacob and Silas Adams/Evil Dude in Black (who from now on will be referred to as EDIB...of course we don't really know who if he is evil, if either are evil/good, or if it is just a bunch of shades of gray). If you noticed Jacob touched each of the losties when he made contact with them in the real world. He did not meet Juliet. I think that might have sealed her doom.
The first thing I thought of during the beginning scene was the book Good Omens with the angel Aziraphale and the demon Crowley discussing humans and the coming apocalypse, no real link there, just what popped into my mind.
Flannery O'Connor was a devout Catholic and her books are rife with Christian/Catholic symbolism, God's grace and strange ways to redemption. Her collection of short stores Everything that Rises Must Converge is the book Jacob is reading (which I actually have sitting on the side table here in the living room. When I saw the book I told The Boy "oh look, he likes O'Connor too") when Locke falls out of the building behind him. (and I will admit that I guffawed when I poor John fell down behind him, it just struck me as quite comical.)

"Yes, they were made of human hair to blend in with your own, and this was in the days before hairspray, so they were to keep the hair in place. They were made for waved and smooth hairstyles that could easily become mussed or frizzy....
The pic on the cover is showing the relative size of the hair net to your head. They are elasticized around the edge but they can be pulled taut to that size, depending on whether you are using it to cover your entire hairstyle, or just part of it. This one says its 'bobbed' size, so there are larger sizes for long hairstyles, like Veronica Lake. I remember watching a movie with Barbara Stanwyck and she had a long turned under pageboy, and at one point she moved her head and you could just glimpse the hair net used to keep that long smooth under turned hair in place. "




Do you ever let your kid ride a bike to the library? Walk alone to school? Take a bus, solo? Or are you thinking about it? If so, you are raising a Free Range Kid! At Free Range, we believe in safe kids. We believe in helmets, car seats and safety belts. We do NOT believe that every time school age children go outside, they need a security detail. Most of us grew up Free Range and lived to tell the tale. Our kids deserve no less. This site dedicated to sane parenting. Share your stories, tell your tips and maybe one day I will try to collect them in a book. Meantime, let's try to help our kids embrace life! (And maybe even clear the table.)
When I was a kid, I just knew that there was something naughty about these.
The MSMO site owners are pleased to announce the launch of FREE "mini-stores" on the Main Street Vintage (MSV) vintage clothing and accessories mall. The mini-stores are similar in features and function to regular stores on the site but are completely free for as long as the seller wishes to keep them. There is no monthly rental (our only regular fee) and no listing fees or final sales commissions. The only limitation is that only 10 simultaneous listings are supported.
If you've been thinking of trying the site this is a great way to get involved. If you only have a few things to list this may be all you ever need. You can upgrade your account to a paid store with unlimited listings at any time.












